Being a male in the South African context often comes with specific expectations from family and peers, shaped by cultural, social, and historical influences. These expectations can affect various aspects of life, from career choices to personal behaviour, and are often tied to traditional views of masculinity.

1. Provider and Protector

One of the most common expectations for males in South African families is to be the provider. This stems from traditional gender roles where men are seen as the breadwinners. Family members might expect you to:

• Contribute financially to the household or even take on the role of primary provider as you grow older.
• Be the one who protects the family, whether physically or emotionally, reinforcing the idea that a male should offer security.

For instance, in many South African households, men are encouraged to pursue high-paying careers, often in fields like business, engineering, or law, to fulfil this role of financial stability.

2. Leadership and Decision-Making

As a male, there may also be an expectation for you to take on a leadership role in both family and peer situations. Culturally, many South African societies view men as the heads of households and communities.

• You may be expected to make important decisions regarding family matters, finances, or even day-to-day activities.
• In your peer group, friends might look to you to be the one who takes initiative or leads in social situations, reinforcing the idea that males should be assertive and confident.

This expectation can sometimes put pressure on males to appear strong and not show vulnerability, even when faced with difficult emotions or challenges.

3. Stoicism and Emotional Restraint

In many South African cultures, males are often expected to be emotionally restrained. This idea of stoicism means that you might be encouraged to:

• Suppress feelings of sadness, fear, or anxiety, and instead present a façade of toughness.
• Avoid showing weakness in front of peers or family, which can limit your ability to openly discuss emotional or mental health struggles.

In some cases, this can lead to mental health challenges, as the expectation to “man up” can prevent men from seeking help or expressing vulnerability.

4. Masculinity and Social Pressure

Among peers, especially in male-dominated spaces, there is often a pressure to conform to certain masculine ideals. This might include:

• Physical strength and athleticism, with sports like rugby, soccer, and cricket being associated with male identity.
• Engaging in competitive behaviour, whether it’s in academics, work, or social activities.
• Sometimes, there’s also an expectation to engage in activities that are considered typically “masculine,” such as drinking, talking about relationships with women, or even aggressive behaviour.

In South Africa, this pressure is heightened in certain contexts, particularly in rural or township areas, where traditional views of masculinity are still strong. However, these expectations are changing in more urban and progressive circles.

5. Cultural and Traditional Roles

South Africa’s rich cultural diversity also means that expectations of males can vary across different ethnic groups and communities. For example:

• In Xhosa culture, the transition to manhood is marked by the ulwaluko (initiation) process. After this, there is often a heightened expectation for a male to take on adult responsibilities and show maturity.
• In Zulu culture, males are often seen as the guardians of tradition, expected to uphold cultural values and participate in traditional ceremonies.

These cultural practices often reinforce the idea that being a male involves rituals, responsibility, and the expectation of embodying traditional values.

6. Pressure to Succeed

Lastly, males in South Africa might feel a significant amount of pressure from family and peers to succeed—whether academically, professionally, or socially. The idea that men must be achievers and build a strong reputation often drives males to:

• Strive for high-status careers and financial independence.
• Be seen as role models for younger siblings or members of the community.

Failing to meet these expectations can sometimes lead to feelings of inadequacy, as South African society, like many others, places a strong emphasis on men being successful.